Part 26: In Which We're Okay With Opening The Road To Mass Murder

Welcome back! Last time, on Secret of Evermore, we managed to almost have dinner with the Queen, Camellia Bluegarden, but Zach accidentally messed it up. We were then thrown into the dungeon, where we need to break out of. So, let's do that and boogie out.



We're back in control of Zach again. Now, we could open the cell immediately, but there's something more important to do.



We're going to open all of the other cells first.





I'm not sure why a Viper is being kept down here, but whatever. We can handle this.



In nearly one regular attack, too. Damn, Zach, you scary.





This cell here holds another Viper.



In killing him, he triggered a drop. That only matters because Zach can't pick up items.



And item drops are solid objects, so Zach can't walk through them. They'll fade after a little while, but for about a minute, I had to stand here. I sniffed the bones to make Zach seem more dog-like, instead of appearing like a froofy purple murder machine.





The enemy in here is a bit more interesting. Still a blast from the past, but a little more recent.



The Mini-Taur!



And we nearly push his shit in with a single shot. Noice.



Even noicer is that he can't hurt Zach.



There's another Mini-Taur in here.



We one-shot him and gain a level in the process!



And, finally, the last enemy. A true blast from the past.



A beginning of the game enemy! Unfortunately, Zach doesn't have a bazooka, so he's going to have to get down and dirty here.



This is the only enemy we've met in a loooong time that stands any sort of a chance against Zach.





Not much of one, mind you, but he could actually deal some sort of meaningful damage to our dog.



After defeating the Mecha Duster, we get the third collar! We could have bought this, yes, but since we can get all the collars for free (only one left!), that's how we're doing it.



Holy balls, that is a defense increase.



Alright, let's free York. Even though, as Glazius pointed out, Zach has been the driving force of our adventure.



You were in there for three minutes. Calm your tits, York.



There's also a free Iron Bracer inside of the cell, if you haven't gotten a new arm armor just yet.



The cell we didn't open is our way out of here.





Is...Is that a sewer tunnel I see?



Look at York freaking out here, and Zach is all, "Whatevs, let's get this done."





So, we're in another sewer section. There are some treasure chests scattered about here, but only one important thing.



Much like the tunnel section in Prehistoria, this water is constantly moving, keeping you going whichever way.



Running like an asshole will keep you from being swept away.



Oh, yeah, and this water is toxic and periodically deals damage to you. It's not a ton, but if you spend long enough in the water...





Alright, this is good. We want to be on the right side.



Uh, not this far right.





Ah, there we go. You can barely see the guy's feet in this shot.



If I wasn't trying to do one of those completionist LPs, I would have never come to find your old ass.



Correction: lying old ass.



And the only formula in which Mushrooms are used in.



Corrosion is Acid Rain's older, but less useful (somehow), brother.



There's two more Call Beads in the other chest. It's too bad that you can't sell them. Well, you can, but they sell for nothing.





And just to the left of the Corrosion man is the exit. Like I said, there's other treasure around here, but I'm already doing enough mazes in this section, and I don't need one that forces you into movement and constantly damages you.





Corrosion is fun in that it affects all enemies on screen, automatically. Other spells mutli-target up to three other enemies.



However, it's not fun in that it does piss-poor damage.



It'll start doing tick damage, too, but at pathetic amounts. This could be useful if Corrosion got stronger as it leveled up, but it doesn't. It's going to forever be a poor spell with poor damage and used just the once to show it off.



In my disappointment, I explode this rat.



Heal's only level 4. Maybe I should work on leveling that up.



Me too. Video game sewers suck.





York, that's honestly nothing worth worrying about.



Or it wouldn't be, but cutscenes have a way of overpowering anything we can do.



And I would have gotten away with it, too, except for those meddling kids!



And that dog!



Yeah, that's us. Maybe we can get a formula for a bath. Or some 409, at least.







Nice fireplace. I kind of want a home with one, but I know if I got it going, it'd be way too damned hot.



I'm the kind that thinks more than 75 degrees is too hot. I like things to be nice and cool, bordering on chilly.



I also prefer pants to shorts. I think it just looks nicer.



Then again, my legs are fish belly white, and I've got some nasty looking scar tissue on one of my knees.





I don't think anyone's a fan of that, Queenie, but throwing folks in prison is still a little over the line.



Eh, not really, but if you say so.



Sure, fuck up her shit, then ask her a favor. Stay classy, York.



Hey, she said we'll get to it later. Cool, she'll help us!





Oh, and you think it's much better over here, living in your Ivory Tower.



That seems like a ton of work. Wouldn't it have been easier to, oh I don't know, take your vast riches and hire an army of maids?



So, what, you want me to go get them and bring 'em back?



...I can?



Okay, chessboard. We've heard about this before. There's a maze associated with it.



So, you'll catapult us over and we just have to lower it, yeah?



But, down in that ravine, thar be dragons!





Alright, so, just to be clear; your old castle was dirty, so you had a new one built and you moved all of your shit over here. And then, some people stayed behind for whatever reason, and you don't like that. And now you want us to sneak over there, lower the drawbridge so that your forces can invade and kill everyone.



Right? I've got that clear. York, any objections?



...How can you sound so casual about sentencing innocent people to slaughter!?



Oh, whatever. We all know that nobody is going to be horrifically murdered. This game has its dark moments, but never out in the open like that.



Who's taking bets on a chessboard themed boss? Anyone? 5:1 for it.





Before we scoot and skedaddle, let's go see something creepy.



Yeah, that dude's sitting on the back of his chair.





I'm not even sure what to make of that title. It sounds like a bizarre art-house film mixed with a B-movie porno.



Oh. You must be the king.



And here, I was sure you'd be horrifically murdered somehow and they were just hiding the body.





And folks, let me present to you, The Show of Life.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ido-q9Jvh8





Yeah, fuck this, I'm out. Shit's weird, yo.



Though, this doorway here leads us back to the stage.



Just down on the ground floor.



We could watch the show again, I guess, but nope. We got yelled out, so let's scoot before Ye Royal Ushere comes and scoots us out.







And I'm sure nothing terrible will happen over there. Or that Zach will get us into more trouble.



Remember that key we picked up? It's use will become apparent in the next update.



It'll get us a swank new alchemy formula, one that could potentially overpower Crush.



But, that's all for next time. Until then, have a good night, folks, and thanks for reading.